“It is common for people to transfer feelings about their parents to their partners or children (that is, cross-generational entanglements). Another example of transference would be a person mistrusting somebody who resembles an ex-spouse in manners, voice, or external appearance, or being overly compliant to someone who resembles a childhood friend.
In The Psychology of the Transference, Carl Jung states that within the transference dyad both participants typically experience a variety of opposites, that in love and in psychological growth, the key to success is the ability to endure the tension of the opposites without abandoning the process, and that this tension allows one to grow and to transform.
Only in a personally or socially harmful context can transference be described as a pathological issue. A modern, social-cognitive perspective on transference explains how it can occur in everyday life. When people meet a new person who reminds them of someone else, they unconsciously infer that the new person has traits similar to the person previously known. This perspective has generated a wealth of research that illuminated how people tend to repeat relationship patterns from the past in the present.”
“In [psychoanalysis()(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychoanalysis), a sign that the method is taking hold is “the initial infatuation to be observed at the beginning of treatment”, the beginning of transference. The patient, in Freud’s words, “develops a special interest in the person of the doctor … never tires in his home of praising the doctor and of extolling ever new qualities in him”. What occurs, “it is usually maintained … is a sort of false love, a shadow of love”, replicating in its course the infatuations of “what is called true love”.
Some psychoanalysts, however, claim that it is wrong to convince the patient “that their love is an illusion … that it’s not you she loves. Freud was off base when he wrote that. It is you. Who else could it be?”—thereby taking “the question of what is called true love … further than it had ever been taken”.
Conversely, in countertransference, the therapist may become infatuated with his/her client: “very good-looking … she was the most gratifying of patients. She made literary allusions and understood the ones he made … He was dazzled by her, a little in love with her. After two years, the analysis ground down to a horrible halt”.”